Understanding Self-Sabotage: What It Is and How to Overcome It

Self-sabotage is a frustrating cycle of behavior that can prevent us from achieving our goals. It occurs when we actively or passively take steps to prevent us from succeeding. This behavior can affect almost every aspect of our lives, whether it's a relationship, a professional goal, or a personal goal, such as losing weight. Although it's very common, it's an incredibly frustrating cycle of behavior that reduces our self-confidence and leaves us stagnant.

There are many reasons why someone may choose self-sabotaging behavior, but many stem from a lack of faith in oneself. Self-sabotage may seem mysterious and complicated, but it doesn't have to be. In the rest of this section, I'll give you a concrete definition of what self-sabotage is and provide some specific examples of what it looks like in real life and where it comes from. Self-sabotage is when you undermine your own goals and values. Of course, there are endless ways in which we all fall into self-sabotage.

So before we go on to understand what causes it and what to do about it, let's take a look at some practical examples of what self-sabotage could look like in your own life. Some common examples of self-sabotage include: procrastination, comfort eating, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, forms of self-harm such as cutting, and postponing important tasks. Everyone sabotages themselves from time to time. Of course, there are many more examples of self-sabotage, but here are some of the most common. Just as self-sabotage can take an almost infinite variety of forms, there are many, many ways in which it develops and takes root. There is no single reason why self-sabotage occurs.

And looking for a simple answer is often a sign that you don't fully understand what self-sabotage really is and what it takes to overcome it. It's self-sabotage because the way they've learned to satisfy their need for trust and self-esteem is by fostering relationships that don't really work, but that make them feel superior and secure. Obviously, this gets in the way of their long-term goal of having a healthy romantic relationship, but they keep falling into it because self-esteem is so low and they don't have a better way to approach it. Of course, this is not to say that there are no common patterns when it comes to the causes of self-sabotage. People who chronically self-sabotage learned at some point that it “works” very well. The fact that self-sabotage “works” on some level or at least it did at some point is absolutely fundamental and is the starting point for changing your self-sabotage behaviors forever. Only when you understand the need that your self-sabotage is filling can you cultivate alternative behaviors to meet that need.

And only when you manage to satisfy that need in another way, can you abandon self-sabotage forever. Once you have a clear understanding of what need your self-sabotage covers, the next step is to generate ideas for alternative behaviors that address the need, but in a way that doesn't harm you. One of the best ways to develop alternative behaviors for your self-sabotage is to study other people like you. It's easy to stick to new behaviors and good intentions when the conditions are right. But if you want to eliminate self-sabotage for good, you also need a plan for when times are tough. It is not enough to have good alternative behaviors to self-sabotage. You also need contingency plans for the inevitable obstacles that will arise when you first start implementing them.

Letting go of self-sabotage is not merely an intellectual problem of planning and strategy. This is not the most necessary step to let go of self-sabotage, but it is the most powerful: I'm going to sit down with my values and how I self-sabotage, make a plan and make some transformative changes. That's why I think its fifth point of values reinforces the merit of vision tables. A vision board appeals to the right side of the brain, which is more connected to your artistic and less rational side. The use of images, sounds, scents, tactile material, etc. can help you communicate with your amygdala-driven being. Self-sabotage in the form of procrastination is emotional in nature, as confirmed by recent research. Jenny, I don't think that's self-sabotage, which has to do with preventing yourself from meeting your goals or expectations. Nice article, I've noticed behaviors that seemed like self-sabotage, so I looked it up and ended up here.

The description certainly sounds like me.